This is definitely new territory for me. Heck, I’ve been with the same person for nearly the past decade – longer than I’ve ever been with one partner.

Alright, why am I telling you this? 

Well, it’s because I want to share how I, as a recovered bulimic, get through the tough times in life like separation from a loved one or divorce.   I guess I’m hoping if I share something about how I’m managing to chart my way through this time, especially this week, you’ll hopefully see something for yourself.  To help you look at new ways to manage the tough times in your life without turning to food to cope or escape those bad feelings.

It’s interesting I’ve chosen today to write about this subject because today’s been a real roller coaster ride.  I probably broke down like five times in the middle of my day in tears.  Pretty major waves of sadness rushing through my body.

Let me share that quote and story before I move on with how I’m managing to move through this transition time.

“If You’re Going Through Hell, Keep Going” – Winston Churchill

And here is one of my favorite stories from Native American folklore:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.“

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?“

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.“

I’ve shared that on my blog before, but somehow the idea again seems appropriate today.  You see, as I’m going through these tough times I can choose to focus on the sadness, the things I’m giving up, the loneliness that may be ahead for me. Or, I can choose to focus on the reasons why I’m giving up this relationship – because I believe in my heart I deserve and want something different for my life.

What I also want to share is that I’m also looking to change course in my work.  I’m currently working full-time and trying to get my coaching and website business of the ground.  Needless to say it makes for some really long days/nights/weekends.

There is a lot of transition in my life and I know that these waves of sadness or doubt or fear that well up inside me are natural.  They’re emotional indicators I’m focusing on what I don’t want to have happen, not what I do want. I’m not focused on my vision.  My future.

I’m focusing on the dirt, not the gold.

And the reason I feel sad or pinched off from Source is because I’m seeing this situation differently than Source sees it.  It’s funny just saying that.  I’ve probably said that to 100 people in my lifetime and here I am, crying because I feel sad today that I’m ending a wonderful relationship to a great guy.

But, you see, I’ve decided I deserve more than love.  I’ve lived with a love for this man for a long time, but we haven’t had passion and excitement for a long time, too.

And I’m not willing to have one without the other.

And Source knows that and has already created the relationship of my dreams.  The reason I’m sad at the moment is because I’m focused on my perceived “loss” of love. Ha! What I’m not realizing or present to yet is how wonderful the new relationship with myself, with someone new will feel when I allow myself to grow into it.

Shifting Gears

What I really wanted to talk to you about today was how I’m making my way through this sad time.  This transition time with deep compassion and love for myself.  I know that if I were bulimic today I’d be in the bathroom every day for hours.  Purging my brains out over this one – why feel this way!!??

Oh, wait.  I know.  I’m not bulimic anymore.

I feel this sadness, this pain, this grief because I know that it’s temporary.  Who cares if you’re sad for a little while. Or maybe a longer while.  My girlfriend calls ‘em “Pity Parties”.  Who cares if I need to have a bit of a Pity Party for myself and feel sad for a few days or weeks?  Well, I do, I guess.  But, the feeling of this pain is natural…now that I know it’s not going to kill me.

It’s actually healthy for my body to cry. It’s really healthy to release tears – I forget exactly why, but it is.  Who cares?

I just know that feeling sad for awhile is just part of my experience right now.  In this moment.  Or maybe for a period.  But I also know that it will pass after not too long.

Then I’ll feel better.

I know this now.

I didn’t know that’s how you did it when I had bulimia.

I thought if I felt bad I’d die.  I thought if my heart was broken that somehow I’d not make it to my next birthday.  Like this deep sadness was part of dying.  What a fear-based dis-empoweirng story my mind made up!

Emotions are good.  Emotions are access to our true selves.  You see, I know now that tears and worry and doubt and fear and all those negative things that I feel are just my inner emotional guidance system at work. I allow my guidance system to direct me.  To tell me what I’m focused on.  I feel sad and I know whatever thought I was recently thinking was not aligned with my Source.

You see, this morning I started crying because I started to picture my home quiet – empty – alone.  Just me and me.  Thinking that thought did not feel good…actually, writing about it is kinda like thinking about it and here I am feeling sad and crying again.  That internal guidance system is working!

Learning Opportunities

Here are the things I most wanted you to get out of this whole ranting story…

1. Trust your inner guidance system and connect to your emotions.  Your feelings are your indicators of what you’re focusing on.  If you feel good, you’re seeing your life the way Source does.  If you’re feeling sad, angry, afraid, ashamed or any negative feelings, you’re focusing on something other than what Source sees for you.

How to stop feeling bad: Start to go general with your thoughts. If you find yourself feeling negative, instead of beating yourself up or spiraling downward, just go general.  What you want to do first is to lighten up the intensity.  If I were to keep focusing on that empty house, the nights alone, the things we used to do that we won’t do any longer, I’ll just start to feel bad again (like I just did – crying again – dang!).  Instead, start to go general…think thoughts like…this too shall pass.  Life is always working out for me.  I don’t have to think about that right now.  I’m making the right choice even if there is a little heart ache now, in the long run I’ll feel better.  I won’t feel this way forever.  I’m feeling a little better now just writing those things actually.  See – it works!

2. Me Time – the other big thing I was planning to write about (and listen to video here) was the concept of Me Time.  In times when things are a little crazy in your life – maybe deadlines, or stressful periods, transition times, whatever it looks like.

It’s those times when you feel you can hardly breath and you’re just going, going, going and there isn’t much space for you to even think, let alone take care of yourself.  Well, you may not have a lot of time for you, but you have GOT to take at least 15 minutes to yourself each day.

I recommend meditating during that time, but you may want to journal or go for a walk in nature or just read something inspiring.  If you don’t think you can fit that time in, I want you to promise me you will.  Even if you have to get up earlier than you already do – call me crazy.  I know you already pack it in.  Trust me on this one.  Giving yourself some peace and quiet will allow you the inner peace to be present for all the other hours and responsibilities you have.

3. Change your story – earlier today I was feeling that sadness and like I didn’t have much time for myself. I had myself booked solid from morning to night.  I was telling myself some pretty pitiful stories about “woe is me”.  I’m working so hard and little reward.  And then I just changed my perception in a moment of consciousness when I realized I was sending myself down a spiral that was not going to go well.  I stopped, took a breath, stood up straight and said “I’ve got this.”  I realized I was wallowing in all of my work and stuff going on in my life.  I can choose to see it as going through hell or I can see it as the life I chose and look for learning and lessons…and miracles.

Funny thing is within the next hour three really great surprises came my way.  Small things, but noticeable to me because I changed my vibration – my focus.  The Universe had to start showing up differently.  Little things like a store clerk giving me a sincere smile, offering me a shopping cart and a warm welcome greeting, a friend calling me and telling me she wanted to help me with a problem I was working on and a guy I thought I would have to pay for some work offering to help me on the phone right then and there for free.

Gosh, I feel so much better just getting all that out.  I’ve been crying most of the time I wrote this for you, but that feels a lot better than holding in all that sadness.  And, again, I know that it’s just because I’m focusing on what I don’t want that’s causing me to feel that way.  As soon as I shift my focus to you, to this article, to why I’m writing this and I’m inspired.  Instantly.

Boy o’ boy this will be an interesting one for me to come back and read five years from now.  What a change of scenery my life will be and how I’ll look back on this transition period, and perhaps even this one post, and remember what sometimes felt like hell.

As Winston Churchill said…just keep going.

That’s really how surfing your emotions is.  You just go through them – or better said – they go through you.  It’s when you try to stuff them down with food that you don’t get them out.  That leads to a lot worse problems than a little sadness.

Believe me.

Well, I hope there’s something of value to you in this post and I thank you for listening. I welcome your comments below.

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That shocking statistic prompted my curiosity because I feel in my heart there are a LOT of women who contacting me that aren’t your typical teenager or even twenty-something.

I feel there is this not-talked-about [massive] group of women who are struggling to overcome bulimia who don’t look like your daughter or little sister.

I’m contacted every week by women in their 30′s, 40′s and 50′s who’ve been suffering in silence for decades – like 40 years some of them.  They have kids, husbands, families, big job and busy lives.  Inside they’re hiding a lot of pain and shame from everyone around them.

What I want to do is share a few of the statistics I’ve come upon, but the ONLY reason I’m sharing these shocking statistics is to grab your attention.  I’m hoping a little shock value is worth sharing if just one of you will wake up and take action to turn your life around and get help for bulimia (or anorexia).

If you’re reading this and you have bulimia, please be sure to sign up today for my next webinar where I will teach you how to:

Regain Your Power Over Food<click here>

Eating Disorder Statistics

I’ve misplaced some of the sources I found these stats, so I apologize if you are interested and want more details (I’m sure you can Google eating disorder statistics and find even more info than I’m reporting here).

Just outside of Minneapolis, Park Nicollet Health Services’ Eating Disorders Institute saw 43 patients age 38 in 2003 — about 9% of total patients. From January – June 2007 the institute treated nearly 500 patients over the age of 38, about 35% of its total patients.

“Whatever this is — if it’s an increased awareness, if it’s a response to being in midlife — those numbers are staggering,” said Carol Tappen, director of operations for the Eating Disorders Institute. Of Renfrew’s patients over age 30 in 2005, about 60 percent first suffered from an eating disorder of 18 or younger. Nearly 20 percent said they were 30 or older when they first encountered the problem.

While body image is an issue for any age group, women over 30 are dealing with problems that teens don’t have, such as work, divorce, stepchildren and aging parents.

“It’s not about wanting to be the cheerleader or being the homecoming queen,” said Tappen. “It’s much bigger than that.”

These women are dealing with an aging process, or childbirth, that changes the way they look physically.

“One day, (a woman) wakes up and the kids are gone and she has a sense that nobody really needs her. She looks in the mirror and she says, ‘My body is shot,”’ said Tappen. “This woman says, ‘You know, that’s it. I’m going on a diet.”’

The National Eating Disorders Association reports a 42-percent increase of middle-aged women with eating disorders from 2001 to 2010.

Since 1999 hospitalizations involving eating disorders increased among all age groups. The greatest increases occurred among those 45 to 65 years of age (an 88% increase) – this stat courtesy of Eating Disorders Review’s article.

Please, if you’re suffering with bulimia or anorexia take action! You can find great resources to get you started on my Getting Started Page.

In my next webinar I will be sharing a ton of valuable information about how you can take action, small steps each day.

Register Today for Regain Your Power Over Food

I believe within 90 days you could be bulimia free.

Yes – it can happen that quickly.

You’ve just got to let go of what’s holding you back – fear.

You’ve got to step outside of your comfort zone and go for what you want – happiness.

“because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion”

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1. Body – what are you doing with your physical body will put you into a state.  Someone who is in an empowered state will look very differently than someone who’s depressed or anxious.
2. Mind – what you are predominantly thinking affects your state because your thoughts and emotions are integrally linked.  If you’re thinking negative, anxious, binge thoughts you’re feeling anxious and ready to binge.
3. Words – the language you’re using to talk about things in your life will either empower or disempower you.  If you’re worried, talking about how bad things are all the time not only do you have yourself in a bad state now, but because of law of attraction you’re bringing more of that into your life.

To help you learn more about how these things affect your state and how you can change your state by changing each of these, sign up for my upcoming webinar called Regain Your Power Over Food.

This webinar is designed to teach you how to release the shame you’re having that’s creating the negative, disempowering state and patterns you’re stuck in that are having you spiral out of control downwards.  There ARE things you can do to change each of these areas of your state that can pull you out of a disempowered state and into lasting bulimia recovery.  Sign up for the webinar so I can teach you tools you can use today to make a huge shift in your daily life.

What are you doing to daily monitor your body, mind and words?  Share your comments below.

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Click to watch the how to stop bulimia video from this page on YouTube.

The Personal Check In

The personal check in is an emotional status check with yourself.  Watch this stop binge eating video to learn more and how to use this technique.

The personal check in, if you make it part of your daily routine and use it throughout the day, will serve to center and empower you.  What often happens when we allow our bulimic mind to run wild is our habits of thought take us down that nasty road and right into the kitchen shoveling in the food to help us escape, sooth ourselves or avoid the painful feelings inside.

The idea of the personal check in is to be aware of our emotions a lot earlier before they “get out of hand”.  There aren’t bad emotions – there are empowering ones and dis-empowering ones.  We don’t want to label any of them good or bad because what can tend to happen is you associate the feeling you’re having to your identity.  If you have a “bad” feeling, you could run the risk of then calling yourself “bad”.  That’s not what we want to do here.

The key is to live from your own internal compass.  Your emotional state is something you absolutely can manage and improve – if you choose to.  Fact is, not many people realize they have this emotional baseline they tend to sort of hang out in.  For some it’s sad, lonely or bored.  For some it’s hopeful, optimistic and happy.  It’s a choice and absolutely in your power to reset  your set point.  More on that in another post.

For now, the technique or practice I want you to try on is this…

Throughout your day check in with yourself.  Ask your self “how am I doing?” or “what am I feeling?”.  Then allow your heart to answer.  If you can, put your focus on your heart, or even place your hand on your heart, and feel for what emotional state you’re in.

Often you’ll have one or two emotions that are right there on the surface. If you find yourself with a mixture of emotions, what we call an emotional cocktail, then just notice and observe the mixture and whether you’re feeling overall empowered or dis-empowered.

If you’re feeling less than you want to be feeling, ask yourself “now what?” or “what should I do here?” and see what thoughts come to mind.  Then, when a thought comes to mind, ask “better or worse?”  Does that idea, thought, or thing to do make you feel better or worse? Choose the one that makes you feel better.

Congratulations! You are now living deliberately!!

You are living from your internal compass where all of the answers are.  Living from the inside out is way more empowered instead of reacting to what’s going on around you or allowing the outer world to dictate how you choose to feel inside.

Now, an idea to call a friend to get some input may make you feel better so do it.  It’s not to say that you have to go it alone from within, but allow your internal compass to guide you towards empowered feelings like excitement, love and joy.

The key is to practice this daily.  During your day do personal check ins and I promise you’ll stop having so many out of control situations because you’ll catch them long before you’re in a place of complete dis-empowerment.

If you want to learn more about how to stop the urge to binge and purge, download a copy of my ebook “Why You Binge and How to Stop” now.

p.s. I’m excited to report I’m working on more material like this that I can’t wait to share with you.  So, I’ve decided it’s time to hold another webinar. Look for the date and details in my newsletter soon. I hope you’ll sign up and be there!

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What would yours say if you made one today?

If you do make one, please post a link to it for us!

That sums up what I think of this emotional eating summit I have the pleasure of sharing with you today.

It’s called Loving Food Loving Life.

Aimee Serafini has brought together a fantastic panel of women who are experts in the realm of food, emotions and empowerment.

[Wait, I gotta get on this panel! But I digress..]

The great news is the Loving Food Loving Life summit starts today. Yes, today!

Click here now to claim your spot for this event.

It’s FREE and I highly recommend you register now. Don’t miss out!

                   
More About the Loving Food Loving Life Summit from Aimee’s site:

Make sure to be with us every night Monday through Friday at 8pm Eastern/5pm Pacific starting April 15th. Top experts on Emotional Eating will share their unique tools, tips and techniques to show you how to help you free yourself from emotional eating and enjoy food again.

You can listen absolutely FREE via the web from your computer or your telephone.

These Experts Will Cover Topics Like:

• Why Diets are your worst enemy
• How your brain chemisty can affect your cravings
• How to begin to listen to your hunger and fullness cues
• How overwhelm causes eating
• Why intimacy or lack of it could be involved

and so much more!

You have taken a big step forward by registering for the event. You now have FREE access to the seminars each evening at 8pm Eastern / 5pm Pacific.

But healing emotional eating doesn’t happen overnight. It is a journey that will uncover many layers. Some that we may not be aware of right now. Listening to these calls several times is key to the information sinking in and giving yourself the time to implement what you’ve learned.

Here’s the Solution

We’re offering you a special opportunity to own this program and make it part of your permanent success library. You won’t ever have to worry about missing a show and can listen to these transformative recordings over and over to keep you uplifted and focused on your most fabulous self.

Get lifetime access to all of the recordings so that you can listen to these sessions anytime. You can listen to these recordings anywhere

• In your car
• In your comfortable chair with a cup of tea and the dog in your lap
• On a plane or a train
• On your patio
• At the gym
• While you’re making a delicious dinner!

You get the idea. You won’t want to miss one minute of these valuable calls. Just one nugget of wisdom could change your life, for the better, forever.

Click here>> take action and grab your seat NOW!

“We have had some major family health issues and ED was taking over me.  I’ve had 5 good days in a row and hope to have a whole week.  My therapist is recommending I accept the relapses and stop trying for 100% relapse free recovery. 

I am confused.  Do you think I can be bulimia free?”

My response:

“YES you can be!  I know it’s possible.  It just may not be today.  Stressful times get us off balance…not always the easiest time to be working on new recovery muscles (like trying to run a marathon after only 1 week of training – you will be exhausted and give up).  Marathons take endurance and strong muscles built over time.  Go easy on yourself and recommit to keep on your track.  Never ever stop believing you can have lasting recovery – can you believe in that with me?”

Kind of a long text, but it got me thinking.  Life and lasting eating disorder recovery is kind of like training for a marathon.  I sat on that idea for a bit, went for my weekend trail run training and had this huge download of juicy ideas come while running.  I half thought about stopping and shooting a darn video right there in the middle of the trail!  Alas, I trusted it would all come back when I got home and in front of a computer.

I captured this eating disorder recovery video after my run and hope it gives you an idea of how you need to

1. commit to your recovery
2. make time for it (just like training for a race)
3. make sure your environment supports you
4. don’t give up when you relapse – get back on training (create new habits)
5. get information about how to train your brain (my ebook teaches you how)
6. read inspiring stories of recovery to give you hope and encouragement
7. and lastly…never, ever, ever, ever give up.  Ever.

The only people who fail are those who give up.

If you’re still committed to being bulimia free, then you are in recovery and your outcome is you being a non-bulimic. It will happen.

If you’ve committed to your recovery, then get into action now!

Here’s my Getting Started Page.  Use it!

Contact me if you want to be a part of our weekly bulimia support calls (every Tuesday at 5:30pm PT/8:30pm ET).  Email me now and I will send you the dial in number.  The calls are FREE – all you need do is ask me for the conference call number and I’ll send it to you.  How easy is that?!

Lastly, if you want to go further faster you hire a coach like me.  If you’ve been trying everything and can’t get lasting recovery to stick or just keep on the spiral out of control with your obsessive thoughts (even if you have a therapist), you can still hire an eating disorder recovery coach to get you results.

Therapists help you with your past.  Coaches help you get where you want to go.  I’d like to be your coach if you’re committed to your outcome – lasting recovery.  If you’re not, let’s not waste each others’ time.  Coaching isn’t for everyone – it’s for those who want their outcome NOW.  My goal is to have you bulimia fee in 90 days or less.

Learn more about my coaching here>

The more you isolate yourself, the more you keep it a secret, the more it leads to suffering.

If you haven’t heard of Brene Brown, a shame researcher (you’ll learn more about what that is shortly), you may find her popping up all over the place soon.  That’s what happened to me.

I first saw her Ted.com talk in December of 2012 and I loved it. She’s a wonderful story teller and has an uncanny ability to whittle down complicated information into real-world speak.  The woman has a gift.  She’s funny and light-hearted about a very touchy subject – shame.  And vulnerability.

I’ll let her do the talking, but the biggest ah ha for me was the fact that when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to share and open up with another person about something we fear and they give us empathy in return, we feel love and connection.

I’d say one of the things you give up in a big way when you have bulimia is love and connection.  It is impossible to feel a deep connection and love with someone when you’re keeping a part of you from them.

It’s amazing how Brene says that the act of opening ourselves up, to be vulnerable and let someone see us – the true me inside – we don’t feel so alone.  We don’t feel so isolated and like the only person in the world with this problem.

What I want to share with you first is Brene’s recent appearance on Oprahs’s Super Soul Sunday show.  Fantastic talk.  This is just one segment of the larger talk.

I also want to share more from Brene with you in case you’re catching Brene fever like me.  I’m sort of stalking the web looking for clips or articles she’s written to better and better understand this animal called shame.  I find that the more I learn about shame the better I understand why I had bulimia for 20 years.  It’s fascinating how intertwined they are.

As of today Brene has done two Ted.com talks.  This is the first one and my favorite. She reveals her findings about vulnerability and what being vulnerable gives us access to.

Another awesome Ted.com talk is Brene’s presentation about shame.  This is more of the material she talks about on Oprah, so it may be a little overlap, but it’s all good.

I love her message and the insights her research has made possible are just down right AWESOME! 

Bless her for having the courage to (a) research a topic like shame, (b) to go around the world and tell people about it and (c) to have the passion and determination to spread the message and allow what she’s learned help others in the process.

She freakin’ rocks!

Oh yeah…here’s that video.

There’s so much wonderful wisdom in these videos. I hope you’ve learned something about yourself and may now realize how sharing yourself will serve you.

It may scare the crap out of you.

I get it.

But being vulnerable and receiving empathy from a friend or loved one will create way more love and connection than any amount of food can give you.  So, will you try it?

I invite you to share your secret with one person this week.  Choose carefully, but be brave and vulnerable and watch what opens up for you.

If you’d like to share about your story or a little about yourself below, please do.  It could help.

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Here is my shame and eating disorder secrets video if you prefer to view it on YouTube.

Great, I have an answer to that!

A lot of the women who contact me for coaching – or who just want some simple advice – for how to stop bulimia have three things in common.

• #1 – They’ve had bulimia for 10, 20, 30, or even 40 years and have tried a lot of things but haven’t overcome their eating disorder for good.
• #2 – They have a primal need for certainty. Said another way -  they can at least control one thing in their life – food (or their body/weight).
• #3 – They have a limiting belief that it’s ok to binge and purge.  The belief may be subconscious, but it has to be there otherwise they wouldn’t act out the way they are.

Long-Time Bulimics

I’ve only been blogging about bulimia recovery for two years, but I can tell you the vast majority of women who contact me for coaching and support have had bulimia for more than 15 years. Ok, given I had bulimia for 20 years, maybe the women who contact me as long-time bulimics feel a connection with me. That could be the case.

Yet, I have a theory that there are waaaay more adult women on the planet who are living with this secret than anyone is reporting.

Some leading authorities say there are 7 – 9 million women in the United States who have bulimia. I suspect that’s underestimated and their data that says that 90% of the women with bulimia are adolescent or in college is missing a large category of women who are silently suffering.Those over the age of 30.

In any case, I’m writing this because I want you to know if you’ve had bulimia for a long time and have tried a treatments (therapy, treatment centers, support groups) and are still not finding lasting recovery, there is a reason. Read on to find out why you haven’t beat bulimia for good and what I hope will be eye-opening for you.

Primal Needs: Certainty and Connection

I attended a Tony Robbins conference called Unleash the Power Within last weekend (I highly recommend it!). During this conference Tony talked about the four primal needs people have.

Here’s what he says they are:

1. Certainty – everyone wants stability about their basic necessities – food, shelter and other material resources. When people cannot control their physical circumstances, they may seek certainty through a state of mind.
2. Uncertainty – People have a need to change their state, to exercise their body and emotions. Therefore they seek variety through a number of means (physical activity, moods, entertainment).
3. Significance – Everybody needs to feel special and important in some way.
4. Connection (Love) – Humans need to feel connected with someone or something – a person, an ideal, a value, a habit or a sense of identity.

As a recovered bulimic I sat in the audience and was struck with the two needs many bulimics have – certainty and connection. I never had anorexia, but if I had to guess I would say that eating disorder starts out in some ways based on the need for significance.

Looking back on my bulimia it didn’t start because of the needs for uncertainty or significance. It was all about a lack of control I felt in so many areas of my life (school, family, boys, peer pressure, etc) and the need for connection (because I didn’t feel love from my parents).

As a teenager, I choose bulimia as a way of fulfilling these two needs. It took me 20 long years of suffering to finally find other sources to meet these two primal needs.

Actually, I’d say I realized that bulimia was keeping me from having love and connection and I wasn’t willing to live without love in my life any longer. Enough damn it!

Can you look at where your bulimia comes from and what need bulimia is fulfilling for you? It can be more than one, but look at your life and answer this question for yourself.

Your Limiting Bulimia Beliefs

The other thing that really jumped out at me during the Tony Robbins’ conference was the idea of our limiting beliefs. Beliefs dictate every-thing in our life.  Who we ARE is built upon who we see ourselves as and that’s based upon the beliefs we have.

My teacher Abraham-Hicks says, “a belief is just a thought you keep thinking.” When Tony said that you can change a limiting belief by interrupting the pattern (or habit) of thought in an instant I knew he was right.

That’s pretty much what I did back in 2005 when I stopped my suffering and decided I wanted lasting recovery.

Finally!

Breaking a habit, or pattern of thought, can be hard if you’ve practiced it for a long time. It’s like trying to take on something new – like learning to play an instrument or new sport – it takes awhile before we get good at it.  Practice makes permanent.

But breaking a pattern or habit absolutely can be done. I’m evidence of breaking the bulimia pattern from within.  I know of lots of women who’ve broken their eating disorder habit, too.

What I want you to know is if you’re living through the hell of bulimia right now you have a limiting belief living inside your head. Jim Rohn says “no thought lives in your mind rent free.”

Your limiting belief can sound something like one of these:

“I’d rather have bulimia than feel all those horrible feelings.”

“I don’t want to get fat, but I can’t control myself around food.”

“It’s only one more time. I’ll stop tomorrow.”

“My eating disorder isn’t that bad.”

“Food is my escape and I can’t get fat.”

“If I’m skinny I’ll be happy.”

“Thin people are pretty (or respected, or loved…).”

These are just a few I came up with off the top of my head.

This next part is really important, so please listen carefully, ok?

If you’re reading this and you’re binging and purging daily or weekly, I want you to stop for a second.

No, more like 30 seconds right here.

Don’t read another word after this sentence until you answer this question…

What are your limiting beliefs that allows bulimia to be a part of your life? or What would you have to believe to be a bulimic?

I hope you stopped and thought about that for a few seconds.  Even better if you wrote them down so you could be really conscious of what’s going on underneath the surface.

If you did, now you know where you are.  Your baseline belief is in your conscious awareness and not running the show from your subconscious [alone].  There are probably a few other limiting beliefs lying beneath the surface, but I wanted you to at least get an idea how this works.

What Non-Bulimics Believe

I believe it’s important to find a strong role model if you want to change an area of your life. As a non-bulimic with 8 years of lasting recovery, I’d like to be one of your recovery models. I want to share some of my empowering beliefs with you here.

Try them on. They might sound like a lie to you at first. Remember what Abraham says “a belief is just a thought you keep thinking”. If you want to beat bulimia for good, try thinking new, empowering thoughts for a change.

What have you got to lose?

Nothing, right?

That’s right. And e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g to gain.

Here are some of my new, empowering beliefs:

If I treat my body well, I’ll feel good each day I’m alive.

I love myself.

I am worthy of being good to and treating well.

I am a non-bulimic.

I would never do anything awful to myself like purging.

To be with people and feel love I can’t keep secrets from them.

Having bulimia is a big secret and I value feeling (giving) love rather than keeping secrets.

If I want to be a role model for others (kids, friends, etc) I must live a life free from addictions.

Recovery feels better than any food tastes.

Looking like a super model is not as important as feeling loved and being myself.

I want love and connection and eating disorders keep me from love – loving myself, receiving the love of others, from feeling love from friends.

My lumps, bumps and belly are a part of me. People who love me don’t care and people who do don’t matter.

I enjoy feeling good feelings (excitement, love, happiness) and the bad feelings (anger, doubt, overwhelm) never last very long anyway.

I choose to be who I am, not what someone else thinks I should be.

These are just a few beliefs I thought would give you a start to re-training your brain to adopt a new belief.

I learned at Tony Robbins’ even that re-training our brain for empowering beliefs takes practice. That’s how I did it when I overcame bulimia. I said to myself all the time “I am a non-bulimic.” Even when it felt like a lie I said it. I said it like I meant it. I said it like my heart, my life, my soul depended upon it.

Now You

I hope this has been helpful to you! Now it’s your turn.

What limiting bulimia belief did you find is living in your head?

What one or two empowering new beliefs are you going to take on and practice?

I’d recommend saying them with heart-felt excitement or passion (like you freakin’ mean it!) each day at least 10 times a day. Hell, maybe 100 times if you’re in the depths and want change NOW! You can turn this around and retrain your brain and take on new beliefs.

It may sound like it’s too easy to be true.  That’s ok.  But remember where our thoughts go, so do we. You can turn this around and start believing a new empowering thought.

Give it a go and let me know how you’re doing!

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Join my tribe today!

p.s. Here’s a video from Tony Robbins on Choosing Your Focus and Creating a Success Ritual (aka conditioning your mind). Enjoy!

A few people have asked me, “So, how was it?”

It was hard, like really hard, for me not to jump them in that moment.

Like I had just freakin’ won the lottery kind of jump them.

I wanted to jump up and down and start screaming at the top of my lungs

I freakin’ rock! 

My life is OUTSTANDING! 

I will lead not follow! 

Now I am the VOICE!

But, then I came back into my socially acceptable self and responded to their question with a…”oh, that.  Yeah, it was great.“  Totally cool, calm and casual.  You know how it is when you’re lit up with love or excitement and if you showed it people would just think you were freakin’ nuts?

So, I fell back into my social status as this cool, calm, capable woman who gets stuff done.

But, here on my blog I can rock the house!

So, now that YOU have asked how was my weekend I can share with more enthusiasm and authenticity.  Thank you for that!

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!

The conference was AMAZING in so many ways.  I’m so blessed I had the opportunity to attend. I had breakthrough after breakthrough. I met incredible people. I saw a new vision for my life that is deeply inspiring to me.

I signed up for Tony’s Mastery University because I believe my personal development is the most important thing I can do for my mental, emotional and spiritual self.  Period.

I gifted myself with this program and so my first course is in May (yes, like 8 weeks).  Get this…it’s in freakin’ Fiji.

Wait, did you cath that? It’s in Fiji!!!

Like palm trees, white beaches, blue water and warm temps.  I feel better already just picturing myself there.

I say this not to turn you off, but to inspire you to gift yourself with your own personal development path.  What course or program would you sign up for today if you knew you were the center of your Universe?  If you knew that everything in your life works out and all of the reasons why you’re not doing it will get handled as soon as you say YES to the course?  Whatever course or idea you just had – DO IT!  I mean it.  Please don’t let reasons like “I don’t have the money” or “I don’t have the time” or “It’s too hard” or “I don’t know how” get in your way.

Girlfriend, if you let these excuses get in your way here you’re letting them get in your way in other areas of your life, too.  Just sayin’! These excuses have you tied up in a box and are keeping you from growing.

If you’re in your comfort zone YOU ARE DYING.  In this Universe, the biggest creature to the smallest cell knows if it’s not growing it’s dying.  Living in your comfort zone is dying because you’re not reaching beyond yourself.  You’re not taking on something new for your life.  You’re not stretching your boundaries.

That sucks.

Comfort zone = dying.

That double sucks, don’t you think?

So what’s worth shouting from the rooftops?!

Growth = Living

and I like to add my flair…

Growing –> Living  –> Thriving!

Thriving comes from enjoying the growth.  Thriving comes from knowing your limiting beliefs, fears and patterns and marching right on past them.  I sat in the audience at Tony’s event this weekend and had those earlier statements cross my mind (especially the “I don’t have the money” one (it’s a $10k program) – that was like my default excuse for everything) and I stepped up.

I did it anyway.

That’s me being bigger than my fears.  Bigger than any obstacle to getting there. 

That’s me showing the Universe I’m on the court of my life and ready to play with whatever growth and possibilities it has in store for me.

I believe my life is turning out great.  I believe the Universe is conspiring to create a magical life for me.

How do I know it’s working out? 

I don’t.

I just [choose to] believe it.

Call it blind faith.  Call it connection to my inner source from where I am fed deeply and intuitively by all great things.  Whatever it is it gives me confidence that whatever I step out and into will turn out for the best and at the very least I’ll learn something.

I’m totally rambling and typing about 100 words per minute ’cause this stuff is just flowing out of me because I’m in a state of love for me and you!  Loving that you’re here reading this and that I’m here expressing myself.  Both give me juice to keep going.  I so love you and know that you, too, can be thriving.

Life is meant to be enjoyed.  In what area are you really IN-joying your life?

If you don’t have one, GO FREAKIN’ GET ONE!  Find something in your life that lights you up and get after it with passion and conviction.  If you’re not living with passion you’re dying a long, slow death.  That is NOT what you were born to do.  You (and me) were born to thrive and grow.

Are you up for all of this?  Are you up for growing and not dying? Are you up for lighting yourself up and the world around you with your spirit?  If so, tell me now…what are you going to do about it?

Let’s rock this planet damn it!  Let’s go out there and kick some massive butt and show the world we are empowered women who take a stand for themselves and don’t let anything get in their way.

Scream this chant with me:

• Now I am the voice!
• I lead, not follow!
• I believe, not doubt!
• I create, not destroy!
• I am a force for good!
• I am a leader!
• Deffffy the odds!
• Set a new standard!
• Step up!
• Step up!
• Step up!
• YES! YES! YES!

That my friend is an empowering incantation if you’re in a peak state. If you’re not in a peak state that’s probably just really freakin’ annoying.  Get yourself in a peak state by changing the music to something off the charts and dancing around until you feel unstoppable.  Then come back and say these words again!

I’m so on fire it’s awesome.  I’m ready to light up the world.  Are you with me?!

Let’s let our light shine and may the darkness dim while we walk the planet. Yes!!

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If you resonate with this article, you may also enjoy receiving my newsletter with my recovery updates, invitations to support calls and everything else I don’t cover on my blog or website.

Join my tribe today!